Ezekial 25:17, the path of the fat man is beset on all sides by the rice cakes of the selfish and the low cal salad dressing of evil men. Gigantic is he who, in the name of Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth, shepherds the obese through the valley of Jenny Craig for he is truly his brother's feeder and the finder of lost fat rolls. And I will sit down upon thee with Cherry Garcia and Chubby Hubby, those who attempt to poison and destroy my fat friends. And you will know my name is Shirley when I lay my big ass upon thee!

AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!